Monday, November 16, 2009

In Class Proofreading Exercise, Murriel Mapa

When I was about 5(five) and a half, I had(experienced) a traumatic incident that truly defines who I am today. I have been (taking part) in competitive figure skating since I was seven, and I have loved every minute of it. From practicing my routines, to competing with many different skaters, it’s been a very memorable experience. Unfortunately(,) I have not always been so passionate about skating.(combine these two into one sentence using a semicolon) I used to skate at the local lake near my house in Windsor, ONT(Ontario no abbreviations), called Hallmark rink. At this time, it was nearly spring, but I really wanted to go on(onto) the lake just one last time before the snow melted. Thinking it would be okay, I joined my classmates on the ice, only to find the surface was beginning to crack.

Getting caught under the ice was dreadful(horrible) in a lot of ways, like scaring my friends and family, but the most awful part of this was being afraid to ever(being afraid that I'd never) lace up my skates again. A few years later, with the persuasiveness of my brother, I got back on the ice.(combine these two sentences with a comma or conjunctive adverb) Only this time, it was an indoor rink. I have now been in figure skating for about 12(twelve) years, and I hope I can continue (even) further.

Writing to express was a lot different than writing to evaluate. When writing to express, ideas are formulated and set out in paragraphs. The main purpose is to express the thoughts and theories that control the piece. However, when writing to evaluate, you're not looking to express thoughts or ideas, you're looking for ways to enhance the piece of writing, ways to correct it, and ways to clarify exactly what the writer is thinking.

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