Monday, November 16, 2009

In Class Proofreading Exercise, Caleb Caswell

Getting kicked out of Tae Kwon Do was a significant event in my life. I had (leave out the had) assumed that I was a good student and was following regulations well (leave out well), that I had been friendly with my classmates and cordial to other people and instructors. When I was pulled aside, I had no idea (include the word 'of' here) what was coming. My instructor let me know that he hadn't (formal essay, shouldn't contract words) been happy with my performance as of late and did not want me to be part of the school any longer. I can remember being confused and upset(,) and hoped that there was something I could do to fix the situation. I was given instructions for what I might be able to do to come back to the school, and by the time I walked home I was thoroughly confused (better word than confused should be used).

I was not informed that my performance had been lacking. Instead, I had been monitored in my class and decided unfit for future attendence. The guilt I initially felt turned into indignation(.)at how (remove at how, start at 'I') I had been thrown aside instead of being properly instructed in the way of my behavior and attitude. This was more than five years ago. I have considered a return many times, but after thinking (use a better word than thinking) of how I was treated, I have become disenchanted with the idea of going back.

Writing to express led to many words being included that didn't have much use in that actual expression, which led to sentences being limp and indecisive. Evaluating gave a much easier approach as to improving the strength of the language and hearing the words used back-to-back, leading to the need for some minor corrections.

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