In Class Proofreading Exercise: Billie Fleming

I was once engaged to a very interesting woman. For the purposes of this writing we will call her Tonya. We had been going out for about a year and a half, and on my 20th birthday we got engaged. Even at 37, from behind Tonya looked like a 12 year old boy and at most times we must have looked like a very odd couple. Not to mentioned the social stigmas of being "out" lesbians.- followed us everywhere we went.(Changed wording of sentence)Even though at the time it felt like the whole world, including my family, was against us, we trudged on and and got engaged. We have since seperated separated, for the betterment of bth both parties. After my birthday is was when we starting making plans for our future together. We moved in with eachother each other and everything seemed perfect.

Tonya had always wanted children. Her determination and love made me believe that I wanted them too, so in october October of that year we started to talk about babies. The first issue we faced was that Tonya wanted to carry the child, and she was already pushing 40. So we started scoping out sperm donors, on the internet and in our circle of friends. After some lomg long and tumoltuous tumultuous discussions we decided that we wanted complete anonymity when finding a donor. We just wanted the child to be ours and no one elses, like a normal family. What can be considered normal nowadays is completly completely up for question though. When I started to make the phone calls to Calgay Calgary and Toronto, which are where the two biggest sperm banks are in Canada, I was met with some skepticism and sexist backlash. It wasn't until I called a gay rights group in Calgary and was directed to a special section of a hospital that dealt with same sex adoption and artificial-insemination, that I got some positive results.

There are many problems that same sex couple face raising children. Peoples opinions can be completly completely with just cause and the rights of the children themselves are not taken into account as much as one would like. Every child needs a home, and every loving person who wants to bear a child and can take care of it to the best of their ability desearves deserves that chance.

Proofreading this writing exercise showed me more in depth where my grammatical errors are. I think I know more now about what I will need to study about for the final. Also, I now have a better idea about the thesis for my essay on gay and lesbian parenting/adoption.

In Class Proofreading Exercise, Jenny Nielsen

"When a neighbor loses his job it is a recession; when you lose your job it is a depression." (cite quote)

My husband got into "the trades" because the economy of the millennium was thriving, and there was a bold promise from the government, and the business sector that trades workers would never be out of work. Although Jay planned on a career in engineering eventually, working towards his Journeyman Welding ticket seemed like the perfect opportunity to get ahead until I graduated with my degree. Initially the money was plentiful, and we moved our family of five to Edmonton, so I could attend Macewan, and he could work in a Mod yard as an apprentice welder. The dream of attending the U of A's(University of Alberta) engineering (Engineering)program was ever present in his mind, and we were able to begin saving for his education. Our teenage son, who is an aspiring actor and musician, was thrilled to attend Victoria school of Performing and Visual Arts, and our younger children were happy with all of the parks and festivals that Edmonton has to offer.
Everything was going as planned, until a cold day in January of 2009(two thousand and nine). Jay called me on a regular work day at about noon to say that he had lost his job, and that he was on his way home. There was no warning, and we were completely dumbfounded. Yes, we had heard rumors that the economy had been in a state of decline, but we hadn't given too much heed to them. Jay was "out of work" for about 7 (seven)months. Writing cover letters, printing off resumes, and calling potential employers became a sadly discouraging pastime for both of us. He did eventually get a job, albeit in Fort McMurray for 18 (? spell out?)days at a time. Last week he was layed off again, with the promise of a phone call when things begin to pick up. (capital)how long can a family of five wait around for a phone call?
Our experiences bring up many important questions about the banks, the government, and the resource based economy of Alberta, and Canada.

I think that I need to review when to use capitals, and when to spell out numbers. Although, I still write with grammar and punctuation errors I feel that I have come a long way since the beginning of the term. I find that I am still slightly confused about some issues, and will most likely need to refer to my "Correct Writing" text while writing my essay. Writing to express is more descriptive creative, and personal; whereas, writing to evaluate is more objective and observational.

In Class Proofreading Excercise, Brent Stempfle

When I was in high school, I played basketball. I did this from eighth grade until twelfth, and I quite enjoyed it. In fact, I enjoyed it to the point that basketball season was probably the best time I had in high school. However, my enjoyment on the court was certainly not due to my ability. I, quite unfortunately, was not that effective on the court, and regarded anything more than two points in a game to be a major personal success. However, I was happy to at least be a part of the team, and I got alog (should be along) with literally everyone on the team, and made friends that I certainly wouldn't have made without playing.

Throughout high school, my lack of talent had at least been overshadowed by moderately successful work ethic, which had at least built me a good reputation among my teammates. This reputation would be beneficial in the last game I would ever play. With one of our best players being forced to leave due to prior commitments, and the other spraining his ankle in a previous game, our team was left with no direction, and lacking raw talent. The time had come for the rest of us to carry the load. I had no idea what i was in for that afternoon, and it was a day i'll (should have a capital I) never forget.



The writing process was rather interesting for me, and was at least moderately nostalgic given the opportunity to relive an event from my past. Writing to express was a lot more relaxed and fun than writing to evaluate.