Monday, December 7, 2009

How to Lose Friends, Caleb Caswell, grammar detective

The grammar enthusiast must be one of incredible social ability to keep their friends. Wrong spellings and punctuation stand out and scream to us. A decision of such moral magnitude must be made that many find themselves willing to avoid it all together. The decision is this: does one correct a friend after having made a typographical error, or, leave them to stew in their ignorance?

In an age of typing, texting, and typography typical of today's tendencies towards technology, more punctuation and spelling is being left at the wayside for the sake of speed and style. In many cases, these are flippant remarks that hold little to no effect on the grander scheme of our lives, but when a writer should see a friend text him "My woman think's you're cute, and wants to find you a girl," we have little to do but hold our opinions in our cheeks and let the room stop spinning of its own accord.

These comments are everywhere. As writers, we must make a moral decision as to whether we value the sanctity of our friendships or the sanctity of our friends freedom to be grammatically ignorant.


But where do these issues stop? and will they not effect language as a whole should we let the go uncorrected? Blockbuster carries "movie's" instead of "movies." You can purchase 'apple's, orange's, and banana's" from your local grocery store, although what belongs to these fruits remains a mystery. Should we let the country as a whole become so unconfident in its typographical ability that they start making errors out of the fear of making errors? Or as a community of dedicated snobs, should we take hold of the issue and sacrifice our friendships for the cause of proper signage and speech?

I have made my decision, and my birthday parties have been getting lonelier with every year that passes.

Here is a nifty site to help with five major errors made in grammar.

Here's something Ramona wrote that will be sure to be some fun.


  1. Hay Caleb, am i invieted to you're brithday partty?

    Thank you for permitting me the above bit of silliness.
    It is noble of you to sacrifice friendships in the name of proper grammar and spelling. I also choose unabashed word-snobbery over schmoozing with lazy spellers.

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